A Message from the CEO of Cattimothy House

These days life can get a bit hectic.

If, like me, you run a popular vanity agile publishing house built using your father’s money, you’ve probably found yourself ina situation just like my friend Ted did recently. Maybe Ted is you or maybe Ted is a friend or relative or arch-nemesis, but I think we all can sympathise with Ted’s predicament.

You see, Ted, like many publisher’s today, found himself having to pull a book from Amazon because rogue squirrels hidden among the lower ranks OBJECTED to his book on the spurious grounds that his book cover was a clear rip-off humorous parody of another book.

What to do! Even the most nimble of publishing houses may take nearly a day to slap some stock images together and think of a new fake name author. And let me tell you, a day is 23 hours and 55 minutes TOO LONG in this cut throat, cat-eat-cat world we live in.

That’s why our scientists at Felapton Towers have borrowed the idea from the pulpomizer come up with a wholly novel new web application.

The Corrodiser allows you, yes YOU, to create your own amazing new cover after waiting several minutes for the bloody thing to load in a matter of moments!

Available right here: https://camestrosfelapton.neocities.org/hype/covermaker.html

corrodiser

The Corrodiser will make you NIMBLE and LOOK GREAT!

Yours,

Timothy the Talking Cat
Chief Editor and CEO
Cattimothy House
Estonia

PS Enjoy
PPS Please direct all complaints to the bozo who made it. No, he doesn’t know how you can’t but your own text in. The guys is an idiot. I only keep him round because he changes the litter tray.

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20 comments

  1. Mark

    “Their Gaseous Republic” will be up on Amazon just as soon as I’ve recruited some friends to half-ass some content. It’s sure to be a category bestseller!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. KasaObake

    “An Curse of the Republic” from Hugo-monimated editor Vax Doy, coming soon to an Amazon page near you. Guaranteed no proofreading or editorial mistakes!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lunarg

      I have a story that relates to this! My friend used to work in product testing; specifically, evaluating flushing prowess of toilets and the ‘flushability’ of products. She was evaluating a kitty litter with “odor absorbing crystals” when company rep just reached down into the litter, picked up a few crystals, dusted them off, and popped them into his mouth.
      She says she stared at him, agog and aghast, and he was all, “They’re just sugar.”
      It wasn’t as though the kitty litter had been used, but still!
      And now, I can no longer be appalled by demonstrations of the rule that no matter how off-putting the food that is brought into a ConSuite may be, it will eventually be eaten.

      Like

  3. Simon

    I am convinced that the Universe has never been more ready for Chiseled McEdifice’s new sensational page turner “The Dancing Walrus”.

    Like