Category: Illustration

Cheese Update

Sorry but I uploaded that last graph with some layers missing. Tweaked and corrected.


Beard Subgenres (Crossover event!)

Combining our occasional series of pointless infographics, with our occasional series of misclassifying mundane things by sub-genres of SFF and our occasional series of pictures of beards, Felapton Towers presents: beards by subgenres!


Today’s Infographic


I had this map on file and I obviously was going to replace those labels with something but I’ve long forgotten what. So instead here is each American state by a bunch of consonants I once typed for them. If I’d visited every state I could claim it was a map of ‘noises I made after stubbing my toe’ but I haven’t so I can’t.

Today’s Important Charts

Star Wars movies title lengths by year:


The long period of consensus on proper Star Wars movie title length has ended with a sharp decline.

Neither Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure nor Ewoks: The Battle for Endor were included in the first graph as they were TV movies. However, including them implies the recent decline is a natural correction to mid-1980’s excesses.


Most importantly (save the strongest results till last) including all the movies and comparing title length to running time produces this important result:


That’s an R-squared that’s not to be sneezed at!* 40% of the variance is explained by title length. According to the Felapton Towers research scientists the mathematical model is:

running time = 151.42 – 1.2979×title length

This is excellent news for when they produce the film entitled “R2”, chronicle his life and career as a Sith Lord. the model predicts a running time of 148.8242 minutes, which is shorter than The Last Jedi (a bit of an outlier). Whereas The Life, Loves and Wacky Adventures of Galactic Senator Jar-Jar Binks and All His Fun Friends will mercifully be only half an hour long.

*[Moral: be careful looking at correlations]

That Last Cover

A shorter interval than usual between McEdifice chapters. The delays are not in the speed of Timothy’s writing – he writes like the wind, as is only proper. Quantity is the mark of the true author and Tim has no time for those lazy liberal writers who are all “boo hoo, the collapse of civil society is getting in the way of my typing”.

Of course, I have to make his blimmin’ chapter covers (who has covers for chapters for grudness sake) and I am distracted by the collapse of civil society. Still I was inspired yesterday by my perennial guru for all things SF book covery: Brad Torgersen.

Brad was extolling the wonders of this cover for a forthcoming book by Mike Kupari.

I’ve already discussed Brad’s paradox before and he still seems to want books he doesn’t like to both HAVE and NOT HAVE overtly SF covers. The cover to All the Birds in the Sky makes him grumpy because its has no spaceships and yet he complains about books that do have spaceships on the cover being too literary. You just can’t win.

Or can you?

See, the way I see it is, if three, maybe four, rocket nozzles are good then NINE smokin’ rocket nozzles is EVEN BETTER!

Hence this: