Dear UK Labour: Please Obliterate the Tories Electorally
Dear Labour,
We’ve had a very mixed relationship over the years. I stood with you through some dark times and when things got better…well, you went really shitty, stupid and tracked rightward on immigration on civil rights. You monstrously sided with George Bush’s so called war on terror, and in doing so fractured yourself.
I dislike your current leader and your current lack of principle but I need you to do one thing for me: destroy the Tories in the election 4 July. Like absolutely obliterate them electorally, collaborate with the Lib-Dems even to unseat Tories from some of those hard to reach constituencies.
There’s a fun side-note here, which is that neither Labour nor the Tories have a full roster of candidates actually selected yet. (I think Labour are further behind.) And that’s quite apart from the suspension issues – both parties have multiple current MPs who are suspended which means they cannot be selected without readmission. This is going to happen in a few cases, but has been significantly problematic in others; a good example being my own constituency of Islington North (for, perhaps, obvious reasons.) In fact, the closing date for applications for this seat is this Friday although the shortlist was already going to be, ahem, fixed by Labour central HQ.
In many cases, this isn’t going to matter much, but there is a high chance of what happened in 2019 happening again but from the other direction. In 2019, the Tories genuinely didn’t expect to win so big, and a lot of their candidates did not have the proper due diligence done. And both parties can see how easily this can happen. This is partly why selection processes have taken so long this time, of course, but now it is coming back to bite everyone. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of people.
I’m inclined to agree with Camestros here – I’ve no great love for Starmer or the current incarnation of Labour, but at this point getting rid of the Tories is a matter of national survival.
Of course, I will be voting Lib Dem, on account of that worked in the by-election. Tactical voting, we know how to do it, and hopefully, we will. Besides, the Lib Dems are closer to old Labour values than Labour itself right now. (The Greens would be better, but I don’t think they stand a chance around here.) I’ve said before, I think, that the Lib Dems and the Greens have adopted Labour values, Labour has adopted Conservative values, and the Conservatives have ditched any pretence of having values at all, and are now just smashing the country up and looting its assets.
Personally, I tend to think that the coalition era wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we remember, if you look at the subsequent decade. The LibDems hauled the Tories back on quite a lot of issues and, where they couldn’t, they did put some safeguards in place. That’s not to say that the coalition era was remotely a good thing for the country overall – the LDs didn’t understand the power they had, even after several years, and the Tories spent their time being Tories (there are still serious questions about what they did in the 2015 election campaign that we will never know the answers to.)
But it’s true that it was unfortunate that the Orange Book folk were in charge at the time; they are still an important grouping but the new generation (Moran, Cooper, Olney) are not really a part of that.
My guess is that the LDs will double their representation to about 20 MPs, but it’s possible that they will explode in the south west of England and cause some real upsets.
The Lib Dems did act as a bit of a brake on Cameron but not (or not sufficiently) on austerity as an approach in general as a response to the GFC. That did all the damage and unfortunately for the Lib Dems they end up both as cover for what the Tories did and also punished electorally for doing it. Still on the scale of “covering for right wing evil” it isn’t on the same scale as Blair backing George Bush.
I like Starmer, really like much of his team, particularly Rayner, Reeves and Cooper, and hope that the Tories get the disaster they have worked so hard to deserve. Scurra is right that both parties have to settle suspension issues; I hope this means readmitting Diane Abbott to Labour.
On the one hand, I hate the Tories in a visceral way that I’ve not felt since the days of Thatcher. On the other, Labour’s row-backs fill me with despair, topped by their acceptance of the loathsome Natalie Elphicke. On the third hand, my local Labour MP is one of the good guys who came and stood with us on the picket lines … so I’ll probably vote for him w fingers crossed that Labour brings back some of the green into its policies.
Anyway, we do have now the defining image of the campaign: the soon-to-be ex-PM standing outside No. 10, getting drenched in the rain, with no one caring enough to hold an umbrella over him, while D Ream’s Things Can Only Get Better blares in the background! Perfect.
He did a pretty good job of keeping it quiet, shedding his aristocratic skin and branding himself as wacky Boris. It’s a persona he worked very hard on over many years. Thanks for checking out the article!
The most apt description I’ve ever read of Johnson was in Jonathan Coe’s “Bournville” where a character (or the narrator) describes upon listening to a Johnson speech at the beginning of the pandemic as not listening to a prime minister so much as encountering a hologram of the real thing.
I saw that photo of the PM and thought “wee pathetic man”. That the leader of a country had to announce an election he’s probably/hopefully going to lose and no one from the party stood behind him, and no one held an umbrella or even gave him one. Touch of schadenfreude here.
There is increasing evidence that his itinerary is being arranged by some sort of saboteur – today he visited the Titanic museum in N. Ireland, which may have been intended as an ironic joke about the wet announcement (my favourite is still “Rishi Washy”) but came across as a bad metaphor for icebergs and sinking ships.
The best that can happen is that the Tories are obliterated and then the whole leadership of Labour dies in a bus crash. Letting the genocidal racists and Thatcherites in Starmer’s clique rule is just letting the Tories rule under another name. There are still some decent people in Labour that haven’t been purged yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Labour is the new nasty party. Totally corrupt, incompetent, systematically racist and houses some of the most despicable people in British politics.
Camestros Felapton 
21 responses to “Dear UK Labour: Please Obliterate the Tories Electorally”
My gosh, dude — this post is like there is a Brad Torgersen edition of Chat-GPT, where you get to plug in your own choice of whose integrity to blast.
(Maybe we’d call that software Chat-GBT!)
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It would be always one’s own integrity even if there was none left.
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There’s a fun side-note here, which is that neither Labour nor the Tories have a full roster of candidates actually selected yet. (I think Labour are further behind.) And that’s quite apart from the suspension issues – both parties have multiple current MPs who are suspended which means they cannot be selected without readmission. This is going to happen in a few cases, but has been significantly problematic in others; a good example being my own constituency of Islington North (for, perhaps, obvious reasons.) In fact, the closing date for applications for this seat is this Friday although the shortlist was already going to be, ahem, fixed by Labour central HQ.
In many cases, this isn’t going to matter much, but there is a high chance of what happened in 2019 happening again but from the other direction. In 2019, the Tories genuinely didn’t expect to win so big, and a lot of their candidates did not have the proper due diligence done. And both parties can see how easily this can happen. This is partly why selection processes have taken so long this time, of course, but now it is coming back to bite everyone. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of people.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ve always liked the name “Islington North” but I didn’t know that I know someone from there.
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Smallest constituency by area in the country (as I learned last night from House of Games)!
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I’m inclined to agree with Camestros here – I’ve no great love for Starmer or the current incarnation of Labour, but at this point getting rid of the Tories is a matter of national survival.
Of course, I will be voting Lib Dem, on account of that worked in the by-election. Tactical voting, we know how to do it, and hopefully, we will. Besides, the Lib Dems are closer to old Labour values than Labour itself right now. (The Greens would be better, but I don’t think they stand a chance around here.) I’ve said before, I think, that the Lib Dems and the Greens have adopted Labour values, Labour has adopted Conservative values, and the Conservatives have ditched any pretence of having values at all, and are now just smashing the country up and looting its assets.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I remember very well about fifteen years ago the chorus of “Labour are to the right of the Lib Dems these days”, and how well that worked out.
Personally I haven’t really been able to tell whether or how far they’ve backed off the Orange Book era.
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Personally, I tend to think that the coalition era wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we remember, if you look at the subsequent decade. The LibDems hauled the Tories back on quite a lot of issues and, where they couldn’t, they did put some safeguards in place. That’s not to say that the coalition era was remotely a good thing for the country overall – the LDs didn’t understand the power they had, even after several years, and the Tories spent their time being Tories (there are still serious questions about what they did in the 2015 election campaign that we will never know the answers to.)
But it’s true that it was unfortunate that the Orange Book folk were in charge at the time; they are still an important grouping but the new generation (Moran, Cooper, Olney) are not really a part of that.
My guess is that the LDs will double their representation to about 20 MPs, but it’s possible that they will explode in the south west of England and cause some real upsets.
LikeLike
The Lib Dems did act as a bit of a brake on Cameron but not (or not sufficiently) on austerity as an approach in general as a response to the GFC. That did all the damage and unfortunately for the Lib Dems they end up both as cover for what the Tories did and also punished electorally for doing it. Still on the scale of “covering for right wing evil” it isn’t on the same scale as Blair backing George Bush.
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And so say we all.
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I like Starmer, really like much of his team, particularly Rayner, Reeves and Cooper, and hope that the Tories get the disaster they have worked so hard to deserve. Scurra is right that both parties have to settle suspension issues; I hope this means readmitting Diane Abbott to Labour.
LikeLike
On the one hand, I hate the Tories in a visceral way that I’ve not felt since the days of Thatcher. On the other, Labour’s row-backs fill me with despair, topped by their acceptance of the loathsome Natalie Elphicke. On the third hand, my local Labour MP is one of the good guys who came and stood with us on the picket lines … so I’ll probably vote for him w fingers crossed that Labour brings back some of the green into its policies.
Anyway, we do have now the defining image of the campaign: the soon-to-be ex-PM standing outside No. 10, getting drenched in the rain, with no one caring enough to hold an umbrella over him, while D Ream’s Things Can Only Get Better blares in the background! Perfect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
^^ I agree. And they will win. But I still feel despair.
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I was today years old when I learned that Johnson’s full name is “Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson”.
I assume it’s pronounced “Alexander Boris Throatwobbler Mangrove Johnson”?
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He did a pretty good job of keeping it quiet, shedding his aristocratic skin and branding himself as wacky Boris. It’s a persona he worked very hard on over many years. Thanks for checking out the article!
LikeLiked by 2 people
The most apt description I’ve ever read of Johnson was in Jonathan Coe’s “Bournville” where a character (or the narrator) describes upon listening to a Johnson speech at the beginning of the pandemic as not listening to a prime minister so much as encountering a hologram of the real thing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I saw that photo of the PM and thought “wee pathetic man”. That the leader of a country had to announce an election he’s probably/hopefully going to lose and no one from the party stood behind him, and no one held an umbrella or even gave him one. Touch of schadenfreude here.
Still, he can dry his tears with his billions.
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Yeah, he’d be a tragic figure if he wasn’t very rich
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There is increasing evidence that his itinerary is being arranged by some sort of saboteur – today he visited the Titanic museum in N. Ireland, which may have been intended as an ironic joke about the wet announcement (my favourite is still “Rishi Washy”) but came across as a bad metaphor for icebergs and sinking ships.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The metaphor is so on the nose — proud Britain, sinking and killing people.
Hard to know whether the itinerary-setter is a saboteur or simply a clueless Tory.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The best that can happen is that the Tories are obliterated and then the whole leadership of Labour dies in a bus crash. Letting the genocidal racists and Thatcherites in Starmer’s clique rule is just letting the Tories rule under another name. There are still some decent people in Labour that haven’t been purged yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Labour is the new nasty party. Totally corrupt, incompetent, systematically racist and houses some of the most despicable people in British politics.
LikeLiked by 1 person