Category: Stuff

Easily Impressed?

Brian Niemeier (the guy who got a Dragon Award and who thinks demons are controlling the left) is up in arms that Amazon pulled Castalia House’s ‘Corroding Empire’ book. This book was Vox Day’s latest expression of his deep-seated resentment of John Scalzi (or Tor or Tor editor Patrick Nielsen Hayden or, who knows, some kid who was mean to Vox in pre-school). http://www.brianniemeier.com/2017/03/tor-gets-desperate.html

Naturally, for Brian, this is ‘censorship’ because literally anything is to the right these days but his defence is that the Castalia house book was clearly parody:

This is what used to be called “parody” before the Left turned into control freaks with zero sense of humor.

The cover is a parody but that’s the problem – that’s only an argument if the book itself is a parody and Vox already undermined that defence:

“This isn’t a lame Bored of the Rings-style parody, it is, quite to the contrary, a legitimate Foundation-style novel that effectively demonstrates how hapless Tor’s latest imitative mediocrity is by comparison.”

This comment section style of switching positions mid-argument is common among the alt-right. Arguments of the ‘this is X except it isn’t X but actually it is X but no it isn’t’ are annoying on the net but when it comes to legal niceties, they are just self-defeating. I’m reminded of the Trump-regime’s own self-sabotage of its legal defence against its recent visa bans on some majority Muslim countries. Trying to argue A & not-A simultaneously isn’t going to cut it when it comes to actual courts or business relationships with a major corporation.

However, Brian is deeply impressed by Castalia House re-releasing their book with a new cover:

“While I was writing this post, Vox Day unveiled the new cover for CH’s censored book.

Let that sink in: they got a new cover done in less than a day.

The updated book should be back in the Kindle store tonight. This is why the small, fast mammals are taking down the dinosaurs.”

A generic spaceship against a background cover in LESS THAN A DAY! Gadzooks! Hmmm. I think I can do that in under an hour to Castalia House standards…

CORWALRUS

Timothy’s Appalling  Hugo “Slate”

Hellloooo bozos,

Camelteeth Floopypants has no internets and that leaves me in charge of the blog using stolen wifi from the mock Tudor Starbucks on the High Street.

To action! Checking Cibbleteeth Fellover’s emails I see that Hugo nominations close WITHIN DAYS and not “sometime in September” like what he said the other day.

With no forward-looking leadership from Straw Puppy it falls to me, Timothy the Talking Cat, to guide you, weak minded bozos of the world, in your proper choices.

Remember that this year the rules have changed! The social justice witches have put their broomsticks together and decided that you can no longer just vote for Dune over and over again. But no fear! As a grandmaster of non-euclidean hyperbolic  7-dimensional chequers, I can adjust my plans accordingly. See below!

1. Best Novel: Heretics of Dune. Ha! Outwitted EPH in one fell swoop!

2. Best Telenovella: Kennedy Park, Lima, Peru https://www.tripadvisor.com.au/Attraction_Review-g294316-d2441173-Reviews-Parque_Kennedy_Parque_Central_de_Miraflores-Lima_Lima_Region.html

3. Best Towelette: Wet Wipes

4. Best shorts: I don’t wear pants.

5. Biggest related jerk. Cousin Bob the Bobcat who lives in Caithness. He is just a mangy feral cat but pretends he’s a bobcat. What a jerk.

6. Most Dramatic Pheasant Nation. I think Scotland wins this year.

7. Most Traumatic Presentation Tort Reform: A fascinating  5 hour PowerPoint presentation from the Heritage Foundation which I confess I slept through.

8. Best Redditor: r/notactuallyaheavingcesspooloftoxichatredhiddenbehindcatpicturesandunfunnymemes

9. Best Nuclear Submarine: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_submarine_Yury_Dolgorukiy_(K-535)

K 535 we love you

K535 we do

Underneath the sea you sail

And we think of you

Do you have a cat on board?

I bet you always do

That is why

K535

We always love  you

10. Best kibble: Earthborn Holistic Ocean Fusion – which I get imported from Australia. It’s holistic rather than reductionist.

11. Best blood product: Lancastrian black pudding.

12. Best thing I did when staying with the lady from the post office: I hid in the pantry and pretended to be the cat from Aliens.

13. There was too a cat in Aliens and no, I’m not thinking of Alien.

14. The cat is hiding from the aliens – obviously.

15. Also the facehuggers are too big to stick to cat faces – so the jokes on them.

16. There isn’t a cat in Predator because of demarcation issues and union agreements.

I think that is all the categories. Remember to follow this special ESP deafting strategy

Next Weeks News

  • In an alarming set of Tweets Donald Trump alleges that Potus 45 is reading his thoughts.
  • Wikileaks releases evidence that the FBI is run by disgruntled Firefly fans who blame the series cancellation on the Clintons.
  • The GOP attempts to build a pipeline to carry snake oil as an alternative to Obamacare.
  • Sean Spicer simply stares at his shoes at a Whitehouse press conference and then leaves via a window.
  • Vladimir Putin denies having any meeting with “the Russians”.
  • Competing Breitbart articles attempt to coax the President through a giant maze.
  • Pundits decry the extremism  of the alt-alt,  a group the describe as being like other things they prefix with “alt” but more so.
  • Banana republics object to being compared to the USA.
  • Mexico builds a wall on its northern border in case “the weirdness is contagious”.