Puzzle Corner: Help Timothy Spot the Author

Poor Timothy is still having problems with human faces. I don’t know what fraction of science-fiction authors have beards but I’d guess 30%? Sometimes feels like more!

Can you match the beard-style (numbered) to the author (lettered) so Tim can tell which is which?

SFFBeards

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20 thoughts on “Puzzle Corner: Help Timothy Spot the Author”

  1. I better sign up for that Great Beards of SFF correspondence course. At the moment I’m convinced none of them is Jim C Hines, and one of them is John C. Wright, who isn’t even a choice!!!!12!!

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    1. The Hines beard is based off this magnificent beard rather than ‘classic’ more-minimalist Hines beard https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/793517445138964480/-uEmdn6-_400x400.jpg&imgrefurl=https://twitter.com/jimchines&h=400&w=400&tbnid=u6wKbBE5qzgKwM:&q=jim+c+hines&tbnh=153&tbnw=153&usg=__eWUjulOPFdrDh5Xe-MlhABJR7OA%3D&vet=10ahUKEwjJnKTm9rDbAhXMybwKHWK_BQ8Q_B0IlwEwCg..i&docid=RAI3C6VFnrxJ8M&itg=1&client=firefox-b-ab&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjJnKTm9rDbAhXMybwKHWK_BQ8Q_B0IlwEwCg

      I’m curious which one is closest to John C Wright (I did consider including him but decided he might see it as a mockery of his appearance)

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      1. I was inclined to think it was #9. Now that I’ve gone back and studied a photo of his beard again, I can at least say none of the puzzle pictures match his photos.

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  2. I’m only sure about Rothfuss, because man, is he hairy. And Alan Moore b/c hairy, old, and weird. And Hines b/c his is giant, but better-groomed than Rothfuss.

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  3. 1) Ambitious Crossover Episode : Batsignal v. UFO
    2) Natural Bridge, Wadi Rum, Jordan
    3) headless Wilma Flintstone, with cape
    4) Dongle
    5) this is bullshit, clearly kidney beans are not sentient and able to go head to head like the Pankration in 648 BC
    6) teenage Chernabog from Fantasia attends Taylor Swift concert, makes heart with hands
    7) king crab ballerina in the void
    8) Abominable RR Snowman
    9) ventricular teapot
    10) Vandykey Vandykeface
    11) Puppetry of the Penis performs the militarized surveillance state
    12) Rorschach Wampa

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  4. It’s a trick, they’re all Patrick Rothfuss in various stages of kemptness. Except 12 which is clearly Beaker from the Muppets turned upside down.

    On a related note I’m glad I can’t grow a massive beard like Rothfuss or I probably would out of sheer laziness, and then it’d be a nightmare to either maintain or shave off again, and coupled with my already long head hair would probably make me look like the Missing Link or something.

    As it is I generally have something like (5) I guess or (on the occasions on which I shave) a stubbly version of the same.

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