Camestros Felapton

FELAPTONL

Announcing the TimFone®

The busybody elitist gatekeepers at Apple, Google and the FDA have censored my revolutionary ¡TIMMR❣ social media app on the spurious grounds that it is “so toxic it may an engender a civilisation collapse”, which is just a fancy elitist way to say that it has TOO MUCH FREEDOM for our tech overlords.

Far-sighted engineer billionaire heroes such as myself (Timothy the Talking Cat, CEO of SpaceY, and inventor of the mobiusloop “trains with a twist!” mass transport system ) treat censorship as damage and simply route around it, just like my self-driving cars don’t. If you can’t get ¡TIMMR❣ on the monopolistic fiat-money phones then I simply will make my own phone.

The TimFone© delivers what other phones cannot: freedom. Freedom from the lollygarchs, the apparentchicks and the West Coast, Silicon Valley, Seattle latte-drinking dorks who run Microgoogle and Applesoft. The phone comes with everything you need: from a camera for your ¡TIMMR❣Tok dance videos, to another camera for your ¡TIMMR❣Tube rants and a touch screen for scrolling through your ¡TIMMR❣Timline in a dull affectless state of cognitive numbness.

Get on the waitlist for your chance to get in line for your TimFone℗ soon!

camestrosfelapton

18 responses to “Announcing the TimFone®”

  4. Honestly, ‘in screen’ cameras might actually be useful for video chatting… it would make ‘eye contact’ across the screen more direct rather than having someone always be looking just slightly away from the camera to see the screen itself.

    Admittedly, my pre-pandemic Samsung Galaxy S10 has an ‘in-screen’ camera to some extent, the camera being in a visible hole in the upper right corner of the screen right at one side of the top status bar and with the extended screen wrapped around it. Though that means there are a couple of games where I need to hold the phone the right way around just so the camera isn’t making it difficult to access the controls.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. In mean, and pardon my gutter slang here, where in the blue blazing fucking hell can you find a printer that use shitty paper like this? I’ve seen third worl printers who’d have mortified to print books these bad.

    Their paper looks like something scavenged out of a recycling bin after a drunk pissed on it after a particularly bad night.

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    • Did you mean to put this on the Dragon/Baen thread?

      Because I completely agree with you on their paper quality. It tends to smell like that after not very long either.

      Also they seem to have missed the concept that spine glue is supposed to last for a bit, and that stickiness is what’s needed.

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