A Christmas Song to Bring in The Season

It’s December and that means it is the season in which we must appease the spider gods with song so that they do not consume our souls.

Santa The Christmas Spider
Santa the Christmas Spider,
Had far too many legs,
And if you ever saw it,
It would use your soul to hatch it's eggs.
-
All of the Christmas reindeers,
Hid from its hypnotic gaze,
It could trap a reindeer,
In a psychic trance for days.
-
Then one sunny Christmas day,
The spider came to say,
Reindeers with your blood so bright,
I'll trap you in cocoons tonight.
-
Then all the reindeers bolted,
Ran away as fast as light,
But they couldn't escape the spider,
Whose psychic web had caught them tight


12 thoughts on “A Christmas Song to Bring in The Season

  1. The scansion needs a bit of tightening up here and there.

    And if you ever saw it,
    It would use your soul to hatch it’s eggs.

    can become:
    And if you ever saw it,
    You’ll be helping hatch its eggs.

    It could trap a reindeer,

    can become
    It traps a herd of reindeer

    But they couldn’t escape the spider,

    can become
    They can’t escape the spider,

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Santa Spider, Kill a Saltie under the tree, for me
    I’ve been an awful good girl
    Santa Spider, and kill the other creatures tonight

    Santa Spider, please kill this goanna too, light blue
    I’ll wait up for you dear
    Santa Spider, and kill the other creatures tonight

    Think of all the fear I’ve missed
    Think of all the snakes that haven’t hissed
    Next year I could be oh so good
    If you’d check off my Christmas list
    Boo doo bee doo

    Santa Spider, please kill Cane Toads and really that’s
    Not a lot
    I’ve been an angel all year
    Santa Spider, and kill the other creatures tonight

    Santa Spider, there’s one thing I really don’t need, indeed
    It’s an Eastern Brown Snake
    Santa Spider, and kill the other creatures tonight

    Santa Spider, fill my stocking with an emu, but ex
    Sign your ‘X’ on the line
    Santa Spider, and kill the other creatures tonight

    Come and trim my Christmas tree
    With a Funnel Web, or two, or three
    I really do believe in you
    Let’s see if you believe in me
    Boo doo bee doo

    Santa Spider, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
    On this octopus, blue

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Somehow the end of the song got cut off 😦
    This was supposed to be after the octopus:

    Santa Spider, and kill the other creatures tonight

    Kill the other creatures tonight
    Kill the other creatures tonight

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Spider Nick, Spider Nick,
    Brings good kiddies their presents quick

    Spins a line, finest silk
    Needs no cookies or chocolate milk

    Be good
    Put ham or Christmas goose out,
    Or she might suck your juice out
    Don’t mess with Spider Nick!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Relevant to this post:

    Like

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