To explore other, cultures I bought this

I’m told the fascinating people of North America consume this highly ritualised form of cheese. Rarely seen outside of the mysterious USA it is regarded with suspicion by European palettes. However, to better understand the exotic and strange culture of ‘Americans’, I intend to eat some of this later.

31 thoughts on “To explore other, cultures I bought this

  1. Can demonstrates putting it on a hot dog, but I think the accepted practice is just to shoot it into your mouth.

    Good luck and godspeed.

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    1. I have actually argued that the “Fake cheeses” (cheez whiz, procesed cheese slices and this kind of thing) taste better with hot dogs than real cheese because the two artificial chemical compounds are designed to join together.

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      1. It’s saying “Put me on Triscuits” — which are inedible, tasteless crackers made of straw and asbestos. 😀


  2. Come on, Cam. Where are the pork rinds? You’re not getting the full experience without the pork rinds.

    I bet you’re going to wash them down with a half-way decent beer, too. That’s not authentic either but even I have my limits.


    1. Now there’s an interesting question: How do US pork rinds compare to British pork scratchings? Are Australian pork scratchings (Pascal’s?) equivalent to British pork scratchings?

      I think I only ate pork rinds once and they were accompanied by an excessive amount of Ouzo so I’m really not qualified to speak on the subject.


  3. The only way to have that is to buy some wine that costs less than $1 a bottle and have a wine and cheese party.

    At least that’s what we did when I was in college.

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  4. Pressurized cheese product isn’t squeezy! True squeeze cheeze (the Z stands for quality, kids!) was a pasteurized cheese spread that came in a plastic sausage skin, like Braunschweiger, with a stoma on the side that let one squeeze (literally!) the product onto a Ritz cracker. One presumes it would have worked with another sort of cracker, of course. Ritz crackers and squeeze cheeze kept me functional on a long cross-country bus journey back in the 70s, and even the certain knowledge that it wasn’t real cheese didn’t negate the benefits.

    A bit of context: On the same trip, I had one of the best meals of my life. It was one or two in the morning, and it was dark and cold at a bus station in Nebraska, and there was a vending machine in the waiting room that sold Beanie Weenie, hot in the can. OMG, it was heavenly.

    Also on the same trip (1975, to be precise), I was one seat behind a kid who stared at me while I ate my crackers or my M&Ms. When she wasn’t doing that, she was loudly identifying moo cows outside the bus. We passed a shopping center that was having a grand opening, with an elephant in the parking lot, and I smiled to myself when she called it a moo cow.


  5. Don’t eat it.

    The ritual is to buy it, put it on a shelf, and then eat something else.

    It’s like dwarf bread: you look at the spray-on cheese and realize that there’s other food somewhere in the house…or the town…or the state…

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    1. And then when the apocalypse comes, ten years later, you can take it down from the shelf and realize…it still hasn’t expired.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The authentic Arkansas experience requires that you buy some store-brand Wal-Mart saltines from the bargain aisle and wash it all down with bright blue Gatorade.

    You could also make white toast and squirt some on that. Grilled cheese, we called this in my childhood.


  7. Although I’d hesitate to call it “cheese”, the contents of said can aren’t that sinister, and it uses nitrogen as a propellant (or so Wikipedia tells me). Enjoy your experiment!

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  8. And the first thing that came to my mind was the original comic book of Sam and Max: Freelance Police. During a road trip they stopped off at a convenience store, and at one point Max says, “Look, Sam, pressurized cheese in a can! Even we wouldn’t eat that!” (And considering the number of things that Max has his hyperkinetic rabbity head chewing on in the comics, that’s saying something.)

    I think they later end up using it as an improvised weapon against somebody trying to hold up the store.

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