The sudden firing/resignation of National Security Adviser John Bolton marks the third person in this role in as many years. Seeking a more consistent and stable approach to the role, the President has sought to appoint the well known political commentator and publishing guru, Timothy the Talking Cat.
Once tipped as a possible Vice Presidential running mate for Hillary Clinton, Mr The Talking Cat sees no conflict in his new appointment.
“Really all I have to do is stand around at meetings and occasionally vandalise graphs. Frankly I was made for this job. I already know how to ignore advice and scrawl all over important documents.”
When quizzed whether he has sufficient experience for the role Mr The Talking Cat responded:
“John Bolton left me the ceremonial moustache of the war-hawk-in-chief that has been handed on to overly belligerent politicians since Theodore Roosevelt. I’ve already had a go drawing with the Presidential Sharpie and have made some significant improvements to the GDP forecasts with it.”
Update: Since going to air Donald Trump has published this tweet:
Mr The Talking Cat could not be reached for comment.