Trump Appoints New Secretary of National Security

The sudden firing/resignation of National Security Adviser John Bolton marks the third person in this role in as many years. Seeking a more consistent and stable approach to the role, the President has sought to appoint the well known political commentator and publishing guru, Timothy the Talking Cat.

Once tipped as a possible Vice Presidential running mate for Hillary Clinton, Mr The Talking Cat sees no conflict in his new appointment.

“Really all I have to do is stand around at meetings and occasionally vandalise graphs. Frankly I was made for this job. I already know how to ignore advice and scrawl all over important documents.”

When quizzed whether he has sufficient experience for the role Mr The Talking Cat responded:

“John Bolton left me the ceremonial moustache of the war-hawk-in-chief that has been handed on to overly belligerent politicians since Theodore Roosevelt. I’ve already had a go drawing with the Presidential Sharpie and have made some significant improvements to the GDP forecasts with it.”

Update: Since going to air Donald Trump has published this tweet:

Mr The Talking Cat could not be reached for comment.

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6 thoughts on “Trump Appoints New Secretary of National Security

  1. And thus the inevitable scandal is averted: TtTC’s plans to send all Armed Forces all uniforms to Borthsworth Dry Cleaners for express service each and every night.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Most qualified Trump hire yet!

      Rather damning with faint praise.

      Well, I suppose it depends on whether you mean qualified for doing their jobs or qualified for destroying their jobs, because a number of them have been quite qualified for the latter.

      Liked by 2 people

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