Triceradvice 11

A reader asks
“Hi, I’m an emu and I recently joined a dog cult after a disastrous end to my last significant romantic relationship due to an embarrassing panic attack I had on a hot air balloon. I’m hoping that being part of a cult based on worshiping the one true heavenly being that is Sukie the Holy Dog will put me on a better path but also I’m an emu and I sometimes just do bonkers stuff for no reason. I’ve forgotten what my question was.” E. Mu

Dear E
Emus are dinosaurs. You might not realise it but you are the living heirs to a mighty lineage. You shouldn’t be worshiping any kind of mammal not even Sukie (who I know is a very good dog and well deserving of pats on the head but not worship). You need to put the past behind you and move on to better things.

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