Triceradvice 9 & 10

A reader asks
“Are the people writing in genuine people or are they made up?” Zoch Pupette

Dear Zoch,
I very much believe that my correspondents are genuine but in some ways aren’t we all “Made up”? I think so. Each and every one of us is an invention of one kind or another.

A reader asks
“My best friend is getting married in a civil ceremony on Sunday. My partner is very religious and thinks that it is wrong to get married on a Sunday. She has asked my best friend to get married on a Thursday instead but I don’t want him to get married on a Thursday because I always feel weird on a Thursday. I should add that when I say my partner is very religious I mean that she worships our dog Sukie – literally, she has painted a picture of the dog and has built a little shrine. My best friend also worships our dog Sukie and to be honest I suspect my dog is running a cult and that I’m an unwitting member. Should I change the dog’s diet from wet food to dry food?” Mike Ullt.

Dear Mike,
It does sound like you’ve become entangled in a set of mammals with quiet complex belief systems. This reminds me of a friend of mine who was an iguanodon. She was always very positive and would give everybody a big “thumbs up” sign where ever she went. It was only much later that we realised that iguanodons permanently have their thumbs sticking upwards and actually she hated everybody and thought we were a bunch of losers. In fact she’d been ostracised from iguanodon society for being so negative about everybody. We should have guessed because iguanodons don’t normally socialise with triceratops herds.

People are strange and complex and have weird things like ‘fingers’. Maybe broaden your circle of friends a bit more but closely monitor whether your dog is trying to convert them. I also recommend dry food for pet mammal carnivores. It keeps longer and provides vital roughage.

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