Chapter 6: Cattimothy House – Birth of an Empire
LONDON! The heart of the world of publishing. It was here that I would build my empire! I immediately set off to the zoo to visit the penguins. Strangely, they were untalkative and showed no sign of controlling a vast business of iconic paperbacks. They mainly waddled around an enclosure with excellent views of Regent Park.
“They are Humboldt penguins,” said Straw Puppy reading the helpful sign.
“I imagined they would have more typewriters,” I observed.
“They have a slush pile,” said Straw Puppy.
“Is that what that is?” I said as the smell of fish wafted towards us. I decided we needed a new plan.
NEW YORK! The other heart of the world of publishing! Manhattan awaited us!
“Damn,” said Straw Puppy as he perused the Tube Map, “New York isn’t on the District Line.” “We’ll have to catch a bus,” I concluded. Yet after several days hopping on and off random buses, we never once found ourselves in New York. We did visit Catford though and saw the shopping centre that had a big cat on it. Which was great.
PARIS! The other, other heart of the world of publishing! Sadly, this was off limits due to an outbreak of my profound europhobia caused by reading far too many copies of The Daily Mail.
MUMBAI! The heart of India’s film industry! After an accident with a shipping container, Straw Puppy and I found ourselves in the midst of Bollywood. The singing! The dancing! The riot of colours and costumes! Fun though it was, our short-lived career in the movies was getting us no closer to founding a publishing empire. We put aside our most excellent fake mustaches and decided to return to London by the first available shipping container. There would be other choices than a brand like Penguin we decided. “There’s Club Biscuits,” I noted.
SAN FRANCISCO! The heart of America’s Tech industry or at least not far from the heart of America’s tech industry. “Did we get in the wrong shipping container?” asked Straw Puppy. He was right — we were in the famous City of Angels now or rather the City of Angels Called Frank.