Triceradvice 3

A reader asks:
“My history teacher has asked me to write an essay on the causes of the first world war? Can you help. I’ve read the chapter in the text book but none of it makes any sense to me.” Archie Duke

Hi Archie. It wouldn’t be right for me to do your homework for you but I can offer some pointers. The very first world wide war was in the Early Mesozoic era. At that time all the world’s landmasses were joined together into a supercontinent called “Pangea”.
At the time there was no greater enmity than the hatred between the Lystrosaurii and the Cynognathians or as triceratopian archaeologists called them “Hammerhead mole monsters” and the “Bonkers lizard dogs”. Inevitably this antagonism lead to a war that swept across Pangea from Eurasia to Australia.
But what was the cause of all this strife?
Name calling.
You see both Lystrosaurus and Cynognathus had sticky out front legs and tucked under hind legs and by any reasonable species standards (such a dinosaur or a mammal) they walked funny. Naturally they both got mocked, either by crocodilians who walked the traditional leg-sticky-out way or by my ancestors with the legs-all-tucked-under way.
Now you might think that would be a common bond between the two species but no. Each blamed the other for bringing disrepute to their walking style. Each species tried to enforce walking rules on the other which led to an escalating conflict.
Yes, they should have just learned to be themselves and celebrated their goofy approach to terrestrial locomotion.
Eventually the conflict got so bad but everybody had no choice but to break up the continent and thus prevent anybody having a world war ever again until primates could invent the airplane.

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