[Felapton Towers at a strange hour. A phone rings. Timothy the Talking Cat sitrs, weak and weary having spent the night pondering over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. He answers the phone.]
Timothy: Ahoy. Felapton Towers. Timothy the Talking Cat speaking.
Camestros: Hullo, hullo. Timothy! I need a bit of help!
Timothy: Where are you? What is that echoing background noise?
Camestros: I’m in an airport Timothy. And I’ve forgotten something Timothy.
Timothy: OK, take your time. What kind of airport are you in?
Camestros: Ohhhhh it’s a big one Timothy. A BIG one and very international.
Timothy: Would you say it is a hub?
Camestros: Oh very much a hub, Timothy!
Timothy: OK, stay calm. Let me talk you through this.
Camestros: Roger wilco good buddy over.
Timothy: Do you have your boarding pass?
Camestros: Yes yes yes. In my many pocketed trousers Timothy.
Timothy: Do you have your passport?
Camestros: Yes yes yes. Very much in the same trousers but different pocket.
Timothy: Do you have your bag?
Camestros: Yes yes yes. On my back.
Timothy: Did you check your luggage?
Camestros: NO NO NO! No I didn’t!Where is it!
Timothy: Did you HAVE any luggage?
Camestros: Um no.
Timothy: OK, check your bag.
Camestros: It’s got several pairs of dirty socks and dirty underpants in it.
Timothy: OK, good that probably means you are heading home. Now check the bag for electronic devices.
Camestros: Ohhhhh there’s a lot of them.
Timothy: PC Laptop
Timothy: Mac laptop.
Timothy: Raspberry Pi you keep in your boot?
Camestros: Check and worth it just to make a booting up joke.
Timothy: Nest of recharging cables?
Camestros: Yes….and…there’s more than I started with.
Camestros: Check, got to have my wallet to buy stuff in this exciting airport.
Timothy: Like what?
Camestros: Oh this place is full of shops for the busy traveller. Shops to cater for a travellers need.
Timothy: For example?
Camestros: Well…diamonds? There’s a Cartier and a Tiffany. If I need some diamonds I’m sorted. Also posh handbags.
Timothy: To keep your diamonds in?
Camestros: Exactly. Also I could by a new suit, very expensive booze or chunky overpriced watches.
Timothy: OK is there a big picture of a celebrity advertising the big chunky overpriced watches?
Camestros: Yes yes yes!
Timothy: Is he looking at you funny?
Camestros: yes yes yes!
Timothy: Have you been riding the travellators backwards for maybe three hours?.
Timothy: Were you stuck in an airport for hours and drank lots of booze because the bar was the only comfy place to sit and recharge your gadgets?
Timothy: OK I know what you forgot.
Timothy: You forgot to sleep and are now tripping out on a cocktail of sleep deprivation, airport booze and the alienating architecture of modern aviation.
Timothy: See you when you get home.
Camestros: Oh oh we’re boarding! Byeeee.