[Scene: Felapton Towers music room. Camestros Felapton is sitting by a 18th century cherry-wood Moog synthesiser, writing notes on foolscap paper.]
Timothy the Talking Cat: Well another chapter of Jor-Dan King of the Lobster Men is finished and also my cat-nip fuelled hangover is finished.
Camestros: Can’t talk, busy.
Timothy: A new project is it? Spill the beans.
Camestros: Hermeneutic filks
Timothy: I can’t say I know that young lady. Is she a relative of yours?
Camestros: What? No. Filks are reworking of songs with new lyrics, a sub genre of music popular among fandom.
Timothy: Sounds dull but show me what you are working on.
Camestros: I’m trying for the ultimate minimalism within the sub genre and using the works of Simon & Garfunkel as a starting point.
Timothy: Let me see…
Timothy: You don’t seem to have changed any words.
Camestros: Ah ha! No look again!
Timothy: ‘The Sound of Silence’…this is just a print out from lyrics dot com but you’ve capitalised one word.
Camestros: Exactly! See, see ‘ the words of the prophet are written on the Subway walls’
Camestros: It’s now about a sandwich shop.
Timothy: ‘In the clearing stands a boxer…’
Camestros: …is about the breed of dog.
Timothy: ‘I am a Rock’…
Camestros: …is about Dwayne Johnson impersonators
Timothy: And the weird smell around the house?
Camestros: That’s not a song…Oh you mean the lingering vapours from having the carpet cleaned after your cat-nip frenzy?
Timothy: And you’ve been locked in here breathing those fumes for several days while I was delirious?
Timothy: You are off your noggin mister…and that means…I’M IN CHARGE!
[Cue theme music]