Timothy the Talking Cat is Doing a Thing

[From the desk of Timothy the Talking Cat]

missiontimpossible

Timothy the Talking Cat, the world’s leading editor of books who is also a cat (that is: he’s an editor who is a cat not an editor of books that are also cats because that would make no sense), will be DOING A THING.

Frankly, Timothy is SICK AND TIRED of what has been going on. The various things, instances and activities that have occurred that are in many ways UNACCEPTABLE, OUTRAGEOUS and AGAINST COMMON DECENCY and the laws of California, West Australia and Andorra. It is time somebody stood up against this and made a stand with those that understand when a stand must be made to steady society and stand steadfast instead.

Timothy will do a thing and thing will have:

  • Objectives
  • Targets
  • Future accompishments
  • Stretch goals
  • Metrics

The metrics will be in imperial measures like furlongs or barleycorns or such like because while they will be metrics they won’t be metric metrics because of Timothy’s firm stance against the plutocrats of the EUROPEAN UNION who no doubt are already in fear of Timothy doing a thing.

So ner-do-wells and flittity-gibbets and slugabeds and other nincompoops and vexatious individuals who frankly TRY MY PATIENCE all the time in various ways are on notice that I have noticed their behaviour and that this cannot continue!

“Oh this is just a poorly organised publicity stunt and Timothy hasn’t even worked out the details yet.” is what some tired cynical leftist will probably say because they are a loser and stupidhead. Well NO SIR! Sure I may point out that my excellent book McEdifice Returns which was not only written by me (and Straw Puppy) but also has an appearance by me in the book (and by ‘me’ I mean Timothy the Talking Cat), is available from here right now: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/764769

But the idea that Timothy the Talking Cta would merely do a thing in a desperate bid to gain publicity for his excellent book (currently at a low, low price for a limited time) is not only INSULTING but is representative of exaclty the kind of CYNICAL, NIHILISTIC, AMORAL rubbish that is consuming modern society. That kind of attitude is precisely why Timothy will be doing the thing that he will be doing.

MARK MY WORDS!

7 thoughts on “Timothy the Talking Cat is Doing a Thing

  1. I don’t believe Mr. Talking Cta (that’s what it says last para) CARES what’s against the laws of California. He’s probably in favor of many things which are illegal in California and vice versa.

    As a (very small, house and garden-bound) lion of the right-wing literary world, he SCOFFS at California mores. Nay, he would more likely fulminate against things which are against the laws of Utah or Alabama.

    The EU will indeed tremble before the might of rods and stone! Er, the measuring unit stone that not even Americans use, not rocks, which the EU has plenty of their own.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It will be appreciated appropriately by some, and that might just be enough.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. “Make Specious Claims about Tortious Interference Great Again; or, How I Tried to Pay for My Summer Vacation while Boosting Book Sales Numbers by Claiming Free e-Books Given in Exchange for Donations should Count as Purchases.”

    Chapter 5 of the ongoing series “Tedium: Notice Me.”

    Liked by 4 people

  3. You tell them, Timothy! Your enemies’ organizations are worthless trash, worthy of nothing but disdain, and it is against the laws of the universe that your career is being devastated by being blocked from joining them. You will demonstrate without possible refutation how useless these groups are, and how many millions of dollars have been withheld from you by your exclusion.

    By the way, if you ever admit that you are Poul Anderson’s great-aunt, I have to say that I’ve always enjoyed your dear nephew’s fiercely apolitical works: my favorites include War of the Wing-men, in which a businessman creates a peace treaty between societies that have been at war for centuries (each believing the others to be degenerate, and not even of the same species), The UN-Man in which our hero (an agent of a secret agency working on behalf of the world government) fights conservative Americans, Progress, in which the heroes destroy an American’s prototype fusion plant to slow technological progress and delay space travel, “The Big Rain” in which a rebelling colony on Venus is defeated by Earth’s UN, and Tau Zero, in which Sweden rules the world as the world government. Not a political theme among them, just rousing good tales.

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