2. Ask A Triceratops

askatriceratops

By Susan Triceratops

This week I take a look at the world of love:

“Dear Susan,
I want to add a bit of a love story plot to my zombie survival novel. Is that a good idea?

What would a triceratops do?
Yours
Romeo Corpsewalker”

Great question Romeo!
In triceratops culture we make a big distinction between what mammals might call ‘romantic love’ and ‘erotic or sexual love/lust’. For a triceratops sex is largely perfunctory and does not form the basis of long term relationships. For us ‘herd love’ is paramount – something not unlike mammal notions of camaraderie, or team-bonding but deeper, more heartfelt and closer emotionally to mammalian romance.

So would I include a love story in a zombie survival novel? You betcha! A group of survivors learning how to be tough in a world full of remorseless yet stupid predators? That’s practically soap-opera for a triceratops. You may not believe this but your average T-rex was either an idiot or a drunk or both. They weren’t zombies obviously but surviving in the Cretaceous was not unlike living in a zombie apocalypse but with more cycads and proto-flowers.

I can’t think of a nicer story than those survivors bonding, coming together as a herd and every so often releasing armoured shabby terror on the idiot predators around them.As they used to say: love is stampeding at a T-rex till it stupidly runs off a cliff. Happy days, happy happy days.

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10 thoughts on “2. Ask A Triceratops

      1. Susan, have you ever seen the human (and robot) program “Mystery Science Theater 3000”? It’s a bit triceratopian. Some humans then watch it together in groups, commenting upon it, adding another layer. We are trying our best.

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  1. Dear Susan,

    Why doesn’t Camestros Felapton use meaningful blog tags? For instance, if I want to read all of your sage words of wisdom, there isn’t a “Susan” tag or an “Ask A Triceratops” tag. Nooooooooooo, instead I have to click on the “Advice” tag, and then wade through a bunch of posts from that blithering idiot cat. Similarly, if I want to find all the chapters of “McEdifice Returns”, I have to search around through a bunch of political shyte posts instead of just going to a “McEdifice Returns” index post which should be permalinked on the blog’s front page.

    Can’t you just whap your illustrious blog host upside the head with a big stick of squirrel jerky, and make him see sense?

    Sincerely yours,
    A Devoted Raptor  Reader

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He says that he likes taxonomies but is in capable of following them consistently. I suspect he believes proper categorisation are for the ‘little people’ which is ironic given that I could crush him with my tail.

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