2. Ask A Triceratops


By Susan Triceratops

This week I take a look at the world of love:

“Dear Susan,
I want to add a bit of a love story plot to my zombie survival novel. Is that a good idea?

What would a triceratops do?
Romeo Corpsewalker”

Great question Romeo!
In triceratops culture we make a big distinction between what mammals might call ‘romantic love’ and ‘erotic or sexual love/lust’. For a triceratops sex is largely perfunctory and does not form the basis of long term relationships. For us ‘herd love’ is paramount – something not unlike mammal notions of camaraderie, or team-bonding but deeper, more heartfelt and closer emotionally to mammalian romance.

So would I include a love story in a zombie survival novel? You betcha! A group of survivors learning how to be tough in a world full of remorseless yet stupid predators? That’s practically soap-opera for a triceratops. You may not believe this but your average T-rex was either an idiot or a drunk or both. They weren’t zombies obviously but surviving in the Cretaceous was not unlike living in a zombie apocalypse but with more cycads and proto-flowers.

I can’t think of a nicer story than those survivors bonding, coming together as a herd and every so often releasing armoured shabby terror on the idiot predators around them.As they used to say: love is stampeding at a T-rex till it stupidly runs off a cliff. Happy days, happy happy days.


10 responses to “2. Ask A Triceratops”

      • Susan, have you ever seen the human (and robot) program “Mystery Science Theater 3000”? It’s a bit triceratopian. Some humans then watch it together in groups, commenting upon it, adding another layer. We are trying our best.


  1. Dear Susan,

    Why doesn’t Camestros Felapton use meaningful blog tags? For instance, if I want to read all of your sage words of wisdom, there isn’t a “Susan” tag or an “Ask A Triceratops” tag. Nooooooooooo, instead I have to click on the “Advice” tag, and then wade through a bunch of posts from that blithering idiot cat. Similarly, if I want to find all the chapters of “McEdifice Returns”, I have to search around through a bunch of political shyte posts instead of just going to a “McEdifice Returns” index post which should be permalinked on the blog’s front page.

    Can’t you just whap your illustrious blog host upside the head with a big stick of squirrel jerky, and make him see sense?

    Sincerely yours,
    A Devoted Raptor  Reader

    Liked by 1 person

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