In a sudden shake-up of key Whitehouse personnel, Timothy the Talking Cat has been removed as Whitehouse Communications Director. His brief but significant career as part of the Trump Administration came to a suprising yet inevitable halt about, oh…maybe a minute ago.
Sources inside the Whitehouse claim that working relationships became tense after a squirrel was appointed as the new Director of Homeland Security.
“The in-fighting became too much,” the high level source said, “one of them had to go and Donald likes the funny tricks the squirrel does.”
A replacement for Timothy has not yet been confirmed but it is rumoured to be Incitatus – the zombiefied corpse of Caligula’s horse.
Camestros Felapton 
11 responses to “Breakin News: Timothy the Talking Cat Fired as Whitehouse Communications Director”
Aw, Timmy. I coulda told ya this was coming, if you’d asked me.
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Too late. He sold his stuff. Bought an apartment in DC. Got married just so he could get divorced. Sold his company. Burnt all his bridges. And all for what? He didn’t even get a chance to have a stupid argument with Steve Bannon.
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And those weren’t metaphorical bridges, either.
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Correct!
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Wow, Timmothy has even broken Scaramucci’s record. Maybe, he’ll at least get a spot in the Guinness Book of Records for this.
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Is the Incitatus appointment something to do with the repeal of Obamacare? I’ve seen reports that the Republicans are flogging a dead horse with that.
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😂 lol
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At some point here I’m going to break down and point out that “White House” is two words.
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Not according to the Communications Director (retired)!
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Never mind Timothy, I hear there’s an impending vacancy in Number 10
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“No toady. No toady. You’re the toady.”
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