Review: Kinder Joy – eating refined sugar so you don’t have to

For those of us outside of the US, the Kinder Surprise egg is a familiar sight. A thin chocolate egg which encases a plastic capsule within which is a small toy. Often you have to assemble the toy and sometimes they are themed collectibles. The chocolate itself…well it’s is an acquired taste. Mass manufactured chocolate is one of those paradoxically regional things.

Americans have not had ready access to Kinder Surpises because of the dangers of them eating the encased toy accidentally. However, the more recent Kinder Joy egg has sidestepped the problem. It retains the egg shape but has two seperate halves – one with chocolate (sort of) in it and the other with a toy.

Wednesday I saw one in the wild and bought one and ate the bits you are supposed to eat. This is my story.

How exciting! But what’s this? It comes with embedded gender stereotypes!

Walking the edges of social convention, I have bought a Kinder Joy for GIRLS!

The packaging divides in two – one half with oddly unreassuring rules and the other with a weird spatula device attached.

I opened the edible side first.

It appears to contain testicles.

The two spheroids are crunchy chocolate and they sit in a kind of white & brown chocolate ganache.

The weird spatula is for eating the gooey surrounds. I messed up and used the end you are supposed to hold for shovelling out the goo. It just tastes of sugar I guess but it feels exotic.

The other half contains the toy.

It is a tiny paint set. For a horrified moment I thought it was meant to be make up but no, it is a Minnie Mouse paint set. Not much assembly – mainly sticking the Minnie Mouse sticker onto the strangely proportioned brush handle.

There was some red paint and some yellow paint. Deranged by my sugar high, I painted a demonic creature.

So the “girl” part was because it was heart shaped and had Minnie Mouse? Making the whole thing less fraught would not have been a major design challenge (e.g. Two stickers: Minnie & Mickey). 

As good as a Kinder Surprise? Hmmm no. My favourite thing with a Kinder Surprise (and with toys that would dispense from those gobstopper machines) was the plastic capsule they came in.

The edible part was just weird.

The toy was initially disappointing but actually more cool than it looked. There was enough paint that I could have painted two demons. Three colours would have allowed greater artistic expression though.

Also if you are British don’t forget to vote.



  1. Cora

    I’ve never actually had a Kinder Joy Egg, just regular Kinder Surprise Eggs, so thanks for taking one for the team. I also feel sorry for both parents and kids, when the Minnie Mouse paint set inevitably gets used to paint something it’s not supposed to paint like walls, tables, etc…

    I hate the gendering of Kinder Surprise and Joy eggs, too, and have hated it ever since they introduced the pink girlie eggs. Back when I was a kid, you were just as likely to find a tin soldier as a bracelet in the eggs. I played with and enjoyed both and so did all other kids regardless of gender. In fact, I’m pretty sure I still have the tin soldiers somewhere, cause they were cool.

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  3. Johan P

    “My favourite thing with a Kinder Surprise (and with toys that would dispense from those gobstopper machines) was the plastic capsule they came in.”

    Hear! Hear! There’s so much fun to be had with those. Primarily shooting them at other people.

    Also, this “because of the dangers of them eating the encased toy accidentally” brought back the happy memories of watching a friend who attempted to push the whole egg into his mouth, swallow the chocolate, and spit out the plastic. Getting to watch that is high on my list of “fun things to do with Kinder eggs”.

    And pooh on the gender thing. It seems to be a trend, unfortunately, that childhood have become increasingly gendered.

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