Bones

[scene: the billiard room of Felapton Towers]

[Camestros] I’m not sure of your of your Gangsta Rap pastiche, Timothy. I think you cross the line into racism.

[Timothy] Nonesense! It’s edgy humour!

[Camestros] Maybe it’s just me but it felt more like a big mess of lazy racist stereotypes derived from other lazy parodies of a music genre you’ve only ever experienced third hand.

[Timothy] I’m offended that you would call me, of all people, “racist”.

[Camestros] You literally have a blanket with Charles Murray’s face on it.

[Timothy] I don’t have a racist’s bone in my ossuary!

[Camestros] Firstly that isn’t the saying. Secondly I know you disinterred the skull of H P Lovecraft , smuggled it out of the US and use it to frighten away sales people.

[Timothy] I keep Howard in the sepulchre not the ossuary.

[Camestros] Well the saying is supposed to be “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.”

[Timothy] mmm well in that case I must confess to snacking on Howard’s metatarsal. It’s probably still in my stomach.

[Camestros] So you’ll concede you are a grave robber but not a racist?

[Timothy] Ahem, a LITERARY grave robber. I have standards.

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