Keyboard politics

After the advent of the krypto-fascist synonym ‘alt-right’, some conservatives have taken to using the term ‘cntrl-left’. By this, they just mean ‘left’. However, I feel other keyboard options could be handy.

  • Tab-left: like normal left but every so often suddenly lurches to the right.
  • Apple-key left: hates multinational corporations except when they make shiny shiny tech products (mea culpa)
  • Option-left: left but with extra choices of hats.
  • Window-key left: same as the apple key left but somehow more sad.
  • Backspace-left: lurches leftward and magically disappears.
  • Caps-lock left: really shouty – handy on demonstrations.
  • Shift-left: quiet but ready to get shouty at a moments notice 
  • Esc left: present in every gathering of the left but nobody knows what they do or why they are there.
  • Fn-left: look like ‘fun’ but actually just functional.


  1. KasaObake

    I think I’m a broken shift-left. I’m just extremely quiet. Or possibly Esc left – I’m never entirely sure why I’m anywhere except at climbing walls.


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