You Too Can Meet Donald Trump’s Tax Accountant!

I’ll lead with my email first this time because I don’t want to ‘bury the lede’.

Thanks for the email Gina,

Glad you and Carolyn got away safely. I told my cat “I think this is a trap” and he stopped himself entering the “competition”.

Timothy did come up with a great fundraising idea though: “Instead of Ivanka or ChristianBaleTrump” he said, more lucidly than usual, “Trump, should raffle off a chance to meet his tax accountant.”. “Brilliant!” I said “or better yet just charge people to have a peek at his tax-returns!.”

“Camestros” said Timothy, pulling a serious expression, “We owe it to Donald to let him know of our brilliant ideas.”

And so we have.

Given your personal connection to Eric, maybe you could pass it on?

“Gina” had sent me this exciting news:

trumpbeggingagain

I suspect the horror-movie vibe from this was unintentional.

Anyway, if readers are interested in being sacrificed to the satsuma-spider god they keep in the hidden floor of Trump Tower meeting Ivanka Trump for coffee, then you can enter the competition without PAYING TRUMP ANYTHING (except maybe your soul and/or your bodily juices). Details here: [approximate retail value of the coffee is $1,900 – so it’s probably not instant]

NO PURCHASE, PAYMENT, OR CONTRIBUTION NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Contributing will not improve your chances of winning. Void where prohibited. You may enter by contributing to Trump Make America Great Again by clicking here. Alternatively, you may enter without contributing by clicking here. Entries must be received between September 5, 2016 at 12:00 a.m. Eastern Time and September 20, 2016 at 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time. Odds of winning depend on the number of eligible entries received. One (1) winner will receive the following Prize: Round trip airfare for the winner and the winner’s guest to and from Destination, hotel accommodations for one (1) night, ground transportation at Sponsor’s discretion, and coffee with Ivanka Trump (approximate retail value $1,900). The Promotion is open only to U.S. citizens, or lawful permanent U.S. residents who are legal residents (green card holders) of the 50 United States, Puerto Rico, and the District of Columbia and are at least 18 years of age (or the age of majority under applicable law). Winner must be 18 or older (or of majority under applicable law) and meet other requirements as described in the Official Rules. Promotion subject to Official Rules and additional restrictions on eligibility may apply. Visit here for full details and Official Rules. Sponsor: Trump Make America Great Again Committee, 138 Conant Street, 2nd Floor, Beverly, MA 01915.

Oh, and yes this IS my new hobby.

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6 comments

  1. KR

    You must must MUST photoshop Timothy into that creepy dead-eye “youth outreach” campaign photo of the Trump kids. Shudder. And smile 🙂

    Like

  2. thephantom182

    I doubt they have the satsuma-spider god in the basement of Trump Tower. He’s running against her, after all. The coughing is a dead giveaway. Hairball from the last intern she ate.

    Like

  3. Mark

    Soooo, it’s an all-expenses-paid overnight trip to New York in which your day of tourism is spoiled only by a bad cup of coffee? And you just need to give over a valid email address?
    I’m in!
    Now, if only there was a way to enter competitions with multiple email addresses…

    Liked by 2 people