Annoucement: There WILL be walrus

After protracted negotiations, tears, lawyers and a tin of salmon, the corporate governing board of Felapton Towers have agreed a new contract with Timothy the Talking Cat. The contract stipulates that publication of There Will Be Walrus First Volume Five be expedited to publication ASAP.

This exciting (?) volume of stories, eprints and essays collated by Timothy will be published via a reputable ebook dealer for the low, low price of zero dollars. Timothy has calculated this price point using supply-side economics and his interpretation of the work or Von Mises.

I can reveal the contents and cover as follows:

  • First Foreword: By Camestros Felapton
  • Second Foreword: by Timothy the Talking Cat
  • Third Foreword by Anonymous Famous Science Fiction Writer
  • Fourth Foreword by AlphaPopulusBlog – The Voice of Manly Dialectic
  • Fifth Foreword by Camestros Felapton
  • Clean Up on Gamma-6-Gamma
  • Behold the Valiants
  • The Second Fifth Generation of Warfare
  • If You Were Yet Another Pastiche of ‘If You Were A Dinosaur, My Love’, My Love
  • Great Battles in History: Thermopylae
  • Squirrel Attack Survival Guide
  • The Mark III Desquirrelator 17
  • The Dead Tell No Secrets of the Dead
  • Riding the Red Walrus: The Core Axioms of Warfare
  • Mutant in Space!
  • Self Publishing Advice for the Inspired Indie: PRICING!
  • Great Battles in History: Timothy versus some squirrels
  • The Parliament of Cheese and Curds
  • The Expense: Walrus Games
  • Iron Chamber of Walrus
  • What You Have Missed: Previous Volumes of There Will Be Walrus
  • There Will Be Walrus First Volume V FAQ

Contributors include: Timothy TTC, Straw Puppy, Mr Atomic, Chilsed McEdifice, Vax Doy, Flight Rear Admiral General Fortescue-Billinghman USMT, HTTP, MD Retd.

Further details will be available closer to the release date.




    • camestrosfelapton

      Timothy assures me that by pricing it at zero dollars it will be self funding. He has graphs and everything. Basically more sales = more profit and higher price = lower sales and therefore by dialectical supply-side Austrian economics the MOST profit = the LOWEST possible price. Ergo ZERO dollars = Infinite profit. You just can’t argue with that.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Mark

    I’m very disappointed that there wasn’t an open submissions period. I have a high-concept story about the failure of modern SJW education I’d like to pitch. It’s titled “Another Brick in the Walrus”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. snowcrash

    Annoucement? Multiple 5s?

    I see an entirely innocent and naturally-gained award nomination in the future!


  3. Stevie

    Oh, Timothy! What have you done?

    Mind you, with the right lawyer we can probably get that Camestros person off your book cover, and you won’t have to share your royalties, but even Plato would have to concede that this is less than ideal…